This Is The Life (3.6.2010)

Two significant things that are happening in my life right now are the following

1. I am house-sitting an expensive condo in downtown Chicago.

2. I am living alone for the first time in my life.

Dividing my time between two apartments no one else can enter allows me to do things I wasn’t previously able to do: shower with the door open, narrate aloud 100% of my inner monologue, contemplate without interruption what it would be like to die alone.

This last one especially has been on my mind a lot as of late. I tend to make a lot of food when I make food and I tend to take giant bites and swallow really fast. I tend to eat while watching sitcoms. I tend to breathe regularly. This could be a dangerous combination. I also stand on chairs a lot and can be clumsy at times with things that are made of glass. And I’m not quite sure I would notice if gas or carbon monoxide was leaking.

My sister and her husband are driving down from Minnesota to visit me this weekend. What if I died right now? What if I bled out on the toilet and didn’t go in to work? What if they were triyng to get a hold of me and came all the way down without confirming? They would probably call my office or try to get a hold of my friend Sean. Sean would probably say that he also hasn’t heard from me, sorry, but he could give me the address of the apartment I am house sitting.  They might not be able to enter without the people I’m housesitting for, but they are in Argentina.  Then they would theoretically call the police and send them over. Maybe they would find me there on the bathroom floor. What pieces of evidence would they use to figure out what happened?

They would find a lot of chat windows open.

At 9:08pm, my friend Kristi told me to via gchat to watch the video for “You Stole” by Brand New. They would find it open. At 8:45 I had a phone conversation with my sister asking if I should find a sub for my radioshift while she is in town. At 9:01, I told a fellow DJ not to worry about subbing for me, that it would be OK. Presumably time of death would be placed at 9:10pm, and an autopsy would have to be conducted to determine cause of death, but it doesn’t look drug related.

I imagine I will die by a seizure or brain hemmorage, or possibly choking on something, while I am alone in my apartment.

Maybe I should set up some kind of emergency system.


One response to “This Is The Life (3.6.2010)

  1. bobby! for the record, i have thought of this a lot, but never really come up with a good system. even when i had roommates, we didnt see each other a lot and i always thought i could get in a bus accident, and how long would be before the dots were connected to call my parents? how long before my work found out? etc. etc.

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